My Baby Brother
 
My baby brother is so small,
he hasn't even learned to crawl.
He's only been around a week,
and all he seems to do is bawl
and wiggle, sleep . . . and leak.

 
I'm Disgusted with My Brother

I'm disgusted with my brother,
I am positively sore,
I have never been so angry
with a human being before,
he's everything detestable
that's spelled with A through Z,
he deserves to be the target
of a ten-pound bumblebee.


I'd like to wave a magic wand
and make him disappear,
or watch a wild rhinoceros
attack him from the rear,
perhaps I'll cook a pot of soup
and dump my brother in,
he forgot today's my birthday-
oh, how could he . . . he's my twin!
 

My sister is a sissy,
she's afraid of dogs and cats,
 a toad can give her tantrums,
and she's terrified of rats,
she screams at things with stingers,
things that buzz, and things that crawl,
just the shadow of a spider
sends my sister up the wall.

A lizard makes her shiver,
and a turtle makes her squirm,
she positively cringes
at the prospect of a worm,
she's afraid of things with feathers,
she's afraid of things with fur,
she's scared of almost everything-
how come I'm scared of her?

The New Kid on the Block
Text copyright 1984 by Jack Prelutsky.
Illustrations copyright 1984 by James Stevenson.